Hi my name is Aese and this is my world.
As I grew up, we were Missionaries for a very different people group in the far North of Norway. Because of different looks and language, I really didnít fit in. I experienced a lot of rejection and verbal abuse from everyone. Being so different also meant a lot of attention from the guys. My dad was pasturing a church, which took a lot of time and sacrifice. I felt so abandoned by him, and I even felt abandoned by God.
Even though I led the youth groups, in my heart, I didnít want to have anything to do with God. I was living two very different lives. I started drinking and smoking at a very early age, and got all my affirmation from guys. I was so lonely, and in my heart, I was so bitter and full of unforgiveness.
One night as I was walking on the beach, out of nowhere, God spoke to me through Psalm 8. I didnít even know it was in the Bible! ďWho is man that you are mindful of him?Ē Three things hit me. First, God is real. Second, he knows me. And third, if God is real and if He knows me, who am I to turn away from Him? It broke my heart, and something inside of me started to change, but I couldnít shake the lifestyle I had gotten used to.
I decided to go on a medical mission to try to serve God there. Right after this decision I was drunk and got in a terrible car accident. The car hit a rock, and we flew through the air and landed upside down. It was like God shook me to tell me "Hey, you have to stop this way of living, because if you don't change, I can't help you anymore!" I stopped drinking after that.
During the outreach, I gained a whole new perspective of who God is. I have learned so much about forgiveness. If God loves me the way he does, who am I, not to forgive? Knowing that God delights in me, I donít have to care what people say anymore. He is my joy and my freedom.