Hello, Iím Leidy Ortiz and this is my World.
When I was 5 years old, an orthodontist sexually abused me. He would take advantage of the fact that my parents would leave me home alone until very late.
One day, I decided to tell my mother. Her reply was that it was all my fault. It hurt me so much to know that my own mother would not believe me and would say those things.
My motherís boss also harassed me. This led me to have an unhealthy and confused sexual life.
When I was 14, I looked to my mother for help, but her solution was that I should become her bossís lover because there was nothing to lose since I was not a virgin anymore.
I was very hurt by her attitude, so I decided to run away from home with 2 friends to a town outside of BogotŠ.
There we lived like hippies. We smoked marihuana everyday. When our money was gone, one of the girls wanted us to work as prostitutes, but I didnít agree. So the other girl and I decided to return home.
When I got back, I met Gabriel, the father of my daughter. He belonged to a satanic cult.
I found solace in him because I felt so alone. I was looking for someone to love me.
When my daughter was 2, I found a letter from Gabrielís lover, so we decided to split up. I was so heartbroken and so hurt that I even thought of taking my life, but I didnít have the guts to do it. Then, because of my economic situation, I became the lover of my motherís boss.
I was so repulsed when I went out with this man that I would make sure I was drunk so that I would not remember what we were doing when we were together.
I lived my life in drunkenness and parties. I began to abuse drugs again. My chaotic sexual life was destructive. All I wanted was to die. Nothing mattered to me. Not my life, my daughterís life, nobodyís life.
Tired of what I was doing with my life, I decided to return with Gabriel, who had already accepted God. But I didnít believe in God. For me, God did not exist. One day, I chose to go with him to a meeting to make fun of him. But thatís when I met God.
I learned that God doesnít judge us, that God is a very loving father. God doesnít see our mistakes. God sees us in a totally different way. He loves us so much. He doesnít care about any of the things weíve done. He forgives me.
I felt like He washed me, like He cleansed me because I was disgusted with myself. My life changed completely.
For me, God exists because He gave my life new meaning. Now I have a very happy home. I have a beautiful daughter. Iím not going to leave God for a drink, a joint of marijuana, or a party because life with God is more secure. Itís free from misery, free from pain. My life with God is happiness.