In a nutshell, my mom had me when she was 15 years old. She had three kids by the time she was 18. She was a drug addict. My family was really poor growing up and none of my mom’s family was really supportive of us, all of our fathers ran off and left us. So it was just three kids and then my mom. And uh in order to feed her kids, my mom – in order to put food on the table my mom decided she was going to become an exotic dancer. And she did that for about five years and because of how dirty and ashamed she felt because of what she did, she started doing drugs. And when it was all said and done my mom maxed out at a two thousand dollar a week cocaine addiction.
Meanwhile, us four kids are depressed and suicidal. I struggled with suicidal thoughts and depression for five years, all through high school. And I got into rap music to really release all that that I was going through.
And eventually at 18 years old I heard about Jesus for the first time. I had tried a lot of stuff and no one ever took a chance and told me about Jesus. And I wasn’t raised in a Christian home or anything so I knew nothing it. And one of my old party friends invited me to church. I went for the very first time. I heard the gospel for the very first time. And the first time I heart it I got saved.
And I basically made a deal with God, which I know is not the typical formula, but I basically was like, “God, I know nothing about you. I’m completely ignorant to this. If you’re real, prove it to me. Change my life, change my family, I’ll spend the rest of my life serving you. It doesn’t matter what I do.”
And within one year I led every single one of my family members to Jesus. I led most of my friends to Jesus. I changed my music, started doing positive Christian music. I was traveling within one year. God completely redeemed everything and kept His end of the deal, so now it’s my turn to keep my end my end of the deal.
I think one of the reasons why Jesus was sent here in the first place and had to go through so much suffering and pain is so He wouldn’t be one of those people you can’t go to and say, “You haven’t been through what I’ve been through. You’ve literally been through all of it.” So He knew that in order for us to relate to Him, He had to come and deal with the exact things we go through here on earth. And so I think it goes the same in our testimonies, you know, I’ve been through stuff and I can relate to teens, anyone who’s been through any of the things I’ve been through, I can completely see where they’ve been, I can see it in their eyes, I can see it in their heart what they’re going through and I know what to say, where to lead them.
I’ve made peace with my past because of that very reason.